return of the mac

i am back after a long summer hiatus, to bring you fabulous tales of excitement, passion, lust, and drama!

how enthralling!

excitement
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i am planning a party. i take piano lessons, and most of my obnoxious friends are tired of hearing about all the practicing, and don't understand why there's no performance. thus, i have decided to finally perform for friends, under the condition that they are also required to perform.

i'm essentially having a talent party. if you're going to come, you have to perform something. it doesn't have to be a typical performance - i am requiring my friend aj, a chemistry professor, to teach a chemistry lesson. my friend ashley is serving gourmet cheese poofies and handing out the recipe. you know, that kind of shit.

i am requiring all others who come unprepared to read from a scene of king lear that i will xerox earlier that day.

this is EXCITING.

passion
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i learned how to shoot a gun this summer. i went with a few friends from work, lots and lots of nice handguns, and one shotgun. we were all wearing dresses and heels, and were greeted by a kid working the cashier desk with a huge snake around his neck. worst accessory ever.

shooting a gun is scary at first, primarily because you think you're going to be such an idiot that you would accidentally shoot yourself. the thing to realize is that while operating a gun does make you nervous, it doesn't make you a fucking retard.

we had a 9mm, a 40, two 45s (one with laser!), a shotgun, and all of these large sheets of paper with drawings of this guy with a beanie kidnapping a girl. trust me. there was passion.















lust
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i have a crush on someone new. i think his name is ox. he is on the left; the green one.















drama
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we tried to go camping a few weeks ago, and the entire experience sucked. first and foremost, the lake was ugly. so ugly.















second of all, we hated the campsite, and tried desperately to escape the dire conditions.















observe as we shamelessly claw at each other in hopes of escape.















all in all, i could not have imagined a worse hell.















i have learned my lesson and will never come back here with all of these attractive people, casual reading, franzia, and two bathing suits. never. worst idea of the summer.