Supermarket
Aha! Here we are at Safeway, with whom I've had a hot and cold relationship for the past few years. I get very confused by it because every thing about it has a huge pro and a huge con. For example:
Large Selection of Stuff
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Pro: There is a large selection of things to buy. This is great! I can find everything! If I remember that I also have to buy a roll of double-stick tape while I'm in the produce aisle, I can get it.
Con: There is so much stuff in Safeway I feel like it's yelling at me as soon as I walk through the door. There's almost too much stuff. Whenever I walk into the store through the exit that's closest to my house, the store is like SODA SODA SODA JUICY TYPES OF SODA BREAD BREAD BREAD THAT IS 70 CENTS BREAD THAT HAS 70 GRAINS BAGUETTE BREAD COOKIES COOKIES COOKIES WITH ICING COOKIES WITH NUTS COOKIES WITH THOSE SUGAR SPRINKLES YOU LIKE ROTISSERIE CHICKEN ROTISSERIE CHICKEN YUMMY DELICIOUS SO GREASY AND WONDERFUL. Drives me nuts.
Close to my House
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Pro: Safeway is close to my house!
Con: Safeway is close to my house. This means that I can only buy very few things at a time, because the car is parked halfway in between my house and Safeway. I would feel stupid walking to the car, driving it 1.5 blocks, buying stuff, loading up the car, driving it three blocks, unloading it, and parking it again 1.5 blocks away. Also, I'm not secure enough yet to preempt my inevitable old-asian-lady-self by wheeling my black wired cart to and fro. So I just buy a few things that are light and walk them home.
Everyone Shops at Safeway
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Pro: Everyone shops at Safeway! I run into friends and people I like in the neighborhood at Safeway. We chit chat while our carts eye each other suspiciously, and then go our separate ways. It's nice to have a pleasant interaction with a friendly neighborly acquaintance!
Con: Everyone shops at Safeway. Once, after I was coming home from the gym, I was salivating at the cheese selection. It's this small island of a cheese kiosk that's near the rotisserie chicken kiosk I mentioned earlier. All of the sudden I hear this voice that says, 'Wow. WOW. You have REALLY nice calves. Those. look. great.' And then he walked away. blegagh. Barf all over you.
Genetically Modified Tomatoes
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Pro: Tomatoes are great no matter what. Definitely on my top three of vegetables. Also, mutant tomatoes last forever in your refrigerator and don't mold until weeks later. Amazing! Way to defy science.
Con: Even though tomatoes are great no matter what, Safeway Tomatoes are tasteless and not very juicy and look bored at the dinner table and pout when they are sent to their rooms.
To be honest, I haven't decided whether the cons outweigh the pros enough for me to keep on paying three times as much for the same stuff at Bi-Rite, the hipster organic grocery store where all of the clerks have emo haircuts, diesel jeans, and high cheekbones. I think until I decide, I will just eat what I have in my house, which means that I will have some delicious sort of rice noodle boullion cube egg miracle whip cream of mushroom pureed tomato i can't believe it's not butter stir fry. yay!
Large Selection of Stuff
------------------------
Pro: There is a large selection of things to buy. This is great! I can find everything! If I remember that I also have to buy a roll of double-stick tape while I'm in the produce aisle, I can get it.
Con: There is so much stuff in Safeway I feel like it's yelling at me as soon as I walk through the door. There's almost too much stuff. Whenever I walk into the store through the exit that's closest to my house, the store is like SODA SODA SODA JUICY TYPES OF SODA BREAD BREAD BREAD THAT IS 70 CENTS BREAD THAT HAS 70 GRAINS BAGUETTE BREAD COOKIES COOKIES COOKIES WITH ICING COOKIES WITH NUTS COOKIES WITH THOSE SUGAR SPRINKLES YOU LIKE ROTISSERIE CHICKEN ROTISSERIE CHICKEN YUMMY DELICIOUS SO GREASY AND WONDERFUL. Drives me nuts.
Close to my House
------------------
Pro: Safeway is close to my house!
Con: Safeway is close to my house. This means that I can only buy very few things at a time, because the car is parked halfway in between my house and Safeway. I would feel stupid walking to the car, driving it 1.5 blocks, buying stuff, loading up the car, driving it three blocks, unloading it, and parking it again 1.5 blocks away. Also, I'm not secure enough yet to preempt my inevitable old-asian-lady-self by wheeling my black wired cart to and fro. So I just buy a few things that are light and walk them home.
Everyone Shops at Safeway
--------------------------
Pro: Everyone shops at Safeway! I run into friends and people I like in the neighborhood at Safeway. We chit chat while our carts eye each other suspiciously, and then go our separate ways. It's nice to have a pleasant interaction with a friendly neighborly acquaintance!
Con: Everyone shops at Safeway. Once, after I was coming home from the gym, I was salivating at the cheese selection. It's this small island of a cheese kiosk that's near the rotisserie chicken kiosk I mentioned earlier. All of the sudden I hear this voice that says, 'Wow. WOW. You have REALLY nice calves. Those. look. great.' And then he walked away. blegagh. Barf all over you.
Genetically Modified Tomatoes
-----------------------------
Pro: Tomatoes are great no matter what. Definitely on my top three of vegetables. Also, mutant tomatoes last forever in your refrigerator and don't mold until weeks later. Amazing! Way to defy science.
Con: Even though tomatoes are great no matter what, Safeway Tomatoes are tasteless and not very juicy and look bored at the dinner table and pout when they are sent to their rooms.
To be honest, I haven't decided whether the cons outweigh the pros enough for me to keep on paying three times as much for the same stuff at Bi-Rite, the hipster organic grocery store where all of the clerks have emo haircuts, diesel jeans, and high cheekbones. I think until I decide, I will just eat what I have in my house, which means that I will have some delicious sort of rice noodle boullion cube egg miracle whip cream of mushroom pureed tomato i can't believe it's not butter stir fry. yay!
posted by Annie at 9:41 PM
5 Comments:
tomatoes are fruits.
who cares.
Item the first: it should be tomatoes are fruit, as they are just the one kind of fruit and not multiple kinds. if one is going to correct someone else, one should not do it anonymously or inaccurately. but the REAL reason i'm here is
Item the second:
you DO have nice calves. and i'm pretty sure that's what i was supposed to get from this entry. got it.
wait.
you have a car parked a block and a half away?
and yes. tomatoes are fruit.
fine. i get it. tomatoes are fruits. i'm never going to remember that. thanks for the calves, though. i tend to remember that i have those a lot more easily that i will ever remember that tomatoes are fruits.
and, irvin, no, i don't have a car. rub it in why don't you!
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