Tuesday, August 15, 2006

International Male makes me want to laugh hysterically and barf all at the same time

because I had an abnormally productive couple of days this past weekend, I'd like to document them for you item by item; less as entertainment for you, and more as proof for myself that i can get things done occasionally.

because this is going to be really boring, i've decided to interspere pictures from the International Male catalog (internationalmale.com) in completely illogical intervals throughout.

Friday, 8/11

3pm: leave work. hurrah!

4pm: do some work at home and write a massive email to my manager. boo!

4:45pm: venture to zeitgeist, a bar with a huge outdoor patio and bbq with my friend cathy. hurrah!

5pm-9pm: drink many many many pitchers

9:30pm: shower

9:45pm: zzzz




















Saturday, 8/12

8:00am: yawn, stretch

8:05am: prepare laundry for exciting morning at el laundromat

8:15am: receive call from good friend aj, who proposes that we go have coffee instead.

8:45am-11am: chit chat drink coffee eat bagel yap yap yap with aj




















11am: errands in the catro. these include:
-going to walgreens. i bought woolite, pomade, animal crackers, and some chewing gum.
-going to the cleaners to pick up my pants that have been altered
-going back to walgreens because my animal crackers are suspiciously stale. the imprinted date just above the lion says 3/2/2006. i make a face and head back to walgreens to execute my first return of a product that costs less than $1.20

12:30pm: hop on the n-judah to go to the haight to get my eyes checked.

i love getting my eyes checked. i have terrible, horrible eyesight, and because i generally think things that i'm really bad at that aren't my fault are sort of interesting, i always interrogate the doctor and relearn basic physical laws of lenses and focal points every time i go.

the doctor is super cool; she looks young and hip and asian. i'm a little disappointed because she's very business-like and doesn't seem like she's very interested in giving me a personal lecture about what the cornea does. instead, i just sit there and try to answer her questions as accurately as possible without getting nervous since my intense fear of failure extends to even the lamest of exams.

E......T......K.......B.....................spot?
V......P........R......N..........fuzzy?
Q.......C......E........L......that looks like a tulip.

2
3
5
same
i have to choose one?
fine. 7.
er, 8.
those look the same.
i mean 9!
10!
9!
hate this.




















1:30pm: the streneous exam being over, i get the well-deserved award of hanging out with kathleen and jason, who help me pick out some glasses.

they have the most incredible memories EVER. i've been in city optix maybe 4 or 5 times in the past 2.5 years. every time i go in, kathleen remembers me, remembers that i have a pair of cat-eye oliver peoples, remembers my sister, remembers all of the swedish glasses she's purchased there, and remembers that she's moved to boston recently.

i think this is fascinating because i forget almost everything.

in any case, she helps me pick out these RAD sama glasses that are chesnut brown and have houndstooth laser cut into the top, in cream. they are bomb.









2:30pm: i get back on the n-judah and i am ravenously hungry.

3:00pm: grab the saturday paper and go to have some pho by myself. in a sheer act of indulgence, i decide to also order an iced tea and also some shrimp spring rolls.

4:00pm: go over to therapy boutique and browse around and get intimidated by the hipsters. find a magical pair of low heeled black boots that i can scrunch down and wear low. season-appropriate fall footwear is mine.

























5:15pm: go back home and sweep and mop for the first time in eons. enjoy this feeling of walking around barefoot and not having filthy feet afterwards

5:45pm: practice piano

6:45pm: start doing things for a v. important work project

workworkworkworkworkworkwork

9:45pm: get a call from my friend noah, who says he's at casanova. it was miraculous timing: i had just left my house to go to the corner store to get some tuna salad materials for dinner, but went for a beer instead.

10:45pm: back home. worked some more.

11:45pm: asleep.

let's have a closer look at those sandals, shall we?

























Sunday, 8/13

6:45am: realize that i accidentally set my work alarm for sunday. fuck!

7:00am: organize laundry

7:30am: head to star wash, get americano at the cafe next door

7:35am-10:00am: do work/laundry/lots of yawning

11:00am: get a call from aj and irvin to have coffee. we go and chit chat some more.

12pm-2pm: messing about. messmessmess

3pm-5pm: have piano lesson

5:30pm: head to dolores park and get pissy because i have missed out on what was an allegedly stupidfun barbeque that is just now winding down. it involved a giant slip n' slide and vegetable oil and all of my friends. rats.

6:30pm: meet john and scott and justin out at the transfer and watch good-looking gay men get dates for the night

7:30pm-10pm: dinner at chow

10:00pm: dinner #2 at marcelo's

11:30pm: zzzzzzz



















but wait!!! there's more:














YESSSS!

perfect for when you want to leave several buttons undone!!

OR

wear ALONE, with SHORTS OR JEANS!!

mwaaaaaaahahahahahahhahahaa

kills me.

3 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

where did you get that glorious International Male catalog?

It is so titillating to see a man expose his heaving bosoms like that.

How long was the Slip n Slide? Where did they get the H20 to power it? How did the ppl get home all covered in vegetable oil? so many interesting questions raised by this topic.

1:15 AM  
Anonymous rita said...

That last guy's photo is too much cleavage for me. Good Lord!

r

4:24 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i very much enjoyed the play by play of your days AND of course the beefy lean men.

9:50 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home