Monday, November 26, 2007

you. look. ahsohot.

ah, so. i'm in india, for work. i could write about things like employment rates, the rising middle class, and the growth of bangalore as the epicenter of india's silicon valley. however - you can read much better articles written by much smarter people from much more respectable publications, such as the famous new york times or well-reputed wall street journal. instead, i will write about bollywood. specifically, the men of bollywood. in particular, one.

i stay in a lovely guesthouse provided by my company, and each bedroom has a nice sony tv. each tv has 114 channels. at any one given point in time, i can guarantee you that this guy is on 26 of these channels. it could be for one of two reasons.

1) an advertisement

this guy endorsed 21 different products in 2005, 60 products in 2006, and fucking everything in 2007. here is a very abbreviated list of his recent endorsements:
  • Belmonte suiting company
  • Bagpiper soda beverages
  • Himani Navratan: a company providing oil and talcum powders
  • Sunfeast food products: Indian snack company
  • Hyundai: manufacturer of junkyards masquerading as cars
And last, but certainly not least,
  • Emami Fair and Handsome Men's Fairness Cream
Here is the genius flowchart displayed on their website that explains why men need fairness cream.









i am always wanting to attract the mens, too. many mens.

2) a music video

this man appears on every other music video that's aired. lately, everyone has been going bonkers over his new 6-pack, so my favorite music video includes
  • 5 costume changes in 4:30 minutes
  • lots and lots of rain indoors
  • slow-motion emergence from a pool wearing leather pants, with gratuitous torso panning
  • blistering wind. here, winds blow so angrily that shirts cannot bear to stay closed.
if you can't find it, search for 'dard e disco.'

i know that 4:30 is a lot to ask of your life, so the two top places i would tag as sightseeing 'must sees' in this bollywood powertour are:

2:10-2:40
2:57

trust me. you won't regret it.

with all due respect, this guy seems like the hardest working guy i know. he sort of reminds me of a cross between ryan seacrest, britney spears when she was 17, and someone ugly.

sorry, guy. don't take this the wrong way, but please. get out of my life.

2 Comments:

Anonymous Laura said...

the youtube link was removed! these balls, they are so blue.

5:45 PM  
Blogger Rita said...

Seriously, you don't like this guy?? Or maybe you mean you lust him. Damon and I rented Dil Se last year, and this was our favorite: http://youtube.com/watch?v=nMsv3MrbDcs ("Dil Se - Chaiyya Chayyia"). We kept trying to do it (especially Damon). We've heard that they play this on trains in India and the passengers totally get up and do it when this part comes on.

2:07 AM  

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