Sunday, November 04, 2007

travel in binary

a couple of days ago i left for a long trip, and have since been in my destination for about 12 hours. i've always been a terrible documenter of experiences that i think are overdocumented, but i will try anyway.

this morning i realized that throughout my entire journey i was assessing everything in a completely binary fashion: awesome and not awesome. i would like to recount these for you for your reading tolerance.

awesome: friends who give you beef jerky as a parting gift for india. i could not have thought of a better gift for myself if i had studied 'gifts for myself' for a semester.

not awesome: flights to newark. ok, i fully realize that i live in a silly hipster neighborhood where i hardly ever see anyone elderly and am therefore unable to engage them in friendly chatter about their daily activities, but i never would have guessed that they had all started migrating en masse to newark on continental airlines on saturday afternoons. my flight was like the Old Person Corral.

why did this suck? because the old man in front of me reclined his seat as far back as it could go for the duration of the flight, and the old woman behind me asked me to put my seat fully upright after i reclined it 2 inches for 2 minutes. 'i have to use the tray,' she explained, as though she were sharing a legitimate reason with me. because i am obedient and passive aggressive, i stewed with perfect posture for the entire flight.

awesome: private television screens on international flights. i know everyone hates flying coach on international flights, but i love television, and having one three inches from your face for 12 consecutive hours is like my dream come true.

not awesome: csi:anywhere. this show is terrible. terrible acting, terrible writing, terrible everything. this show sucks, and i am annoyed that it took up valuable real estate on the one of the nine looping channels on my private tv. this show made me want to set myself on fire.

awesome: arriving in delhi. for fear of getting too close to bad travel writing, i'll be brief. the feeling of dismebarking in a new city where you've never been is stupendous. even though your brain says, 'more tv, please,' your heart says, 'yay! time for exploring!'

not awesome: realizing you're a complete fucktard. it occurred to me when i was waiting for my luggage that i didn't have the cell phone number of the girl who was meeting me at the airport, or the address of the house in which i was staying. i had set the bar low earlier that day for internally congratulating myself on having my passport, which tells you something about my personal reward system.

awesome: being saved from idiocy, no thanks to your stupid brain that likes tv. i found her.

not awesome: smog. this city is so smoggy that you can actually see it inside buildings. it reminds me of how my apartment looked and smelled when it almost burned down: smoky and vaguely bbq-ish, minus the delicious skewer.

awesome: going to work. it was awesome. i saw a cow. moo!

such is life. more later.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

that is too bad about the woman behind you. Leaning your seat back on an airplane (unless it's mealtime) is one of your fundamental rights as a citizen of the world.

your binary thing is funny.

2:55 AM  

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