Wednesday, August 29, 2007

it's hot

it's hot tonight. all the windows are open and the fan is on. and you know what that means.

sitting around my apartment in my underwear eating ice cream and listening to sergio mendes. yay!

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ahoy-hoy! the big talent party was last saturday. here is the program, which irvin so kindly created:


















i sent the program to my dad. this was his email response:

Look great. Have fun, but don't get drunken. Say hi to all of the great performers.
dad

here is a picture of my good friend cathy having a slice of salami on the sofa before the party:















my, my! how fun that looks. that apartment looks awesome, also. check that domokun on the nesting table in the corner. that shit is dope. those floors also look newly mopped. whoever owns this apartment has aggressively good taste.

highlights (otherwise known as talents captured by digital photos that didn't look like shit):

this is grant, the phd in plant genetics, talking about orchid maintenance:



















this is irvin, teaching everyone how to make cookie bars.



















this is cathy, demonstrating angel ornament construction from a beer can.



















awesome!

after everyone left i went on a mad drunken cleaning spree. i took out 5 rounds of recycling, wiped all the countertops, swiffered, and mopped until 3am. i woke up the next morning with a ridiculous headache and a sparkling apartment. hurrah!

it is still so hot, and now i'm all out of ice cream, so it is time to say good night.

Monday, August 20, 2007

Best Answer Ever

i was at a dinner party this past saturday, and these two friendly looking guys sauntered in and sat down at the table. their friend said, 'hey! what'd you guys do today?'

they said 'dinosaur origami.' they went on later to say they followed up dinosaur orgami with 'text twist,' which is like my favorite friggin game ever.

'dinosaur origami' might be the best honest response to that question i have ever had the good fortune to witness in person. common answers to this question include:

-ran errands
-nuthin. fuckin sat around and drank burrs
-i forgot

let's compare these two things pictorally. never liked reading something that didn't have at least a few pictures in it.





-ran errands
-nuthin. fuckin sat
around and drank burrs
-i forgot










awesome







i was impressed. it made me want to take up eccentrically affected hobbies just so i, too, can say interesting things in response to this question, like 'potato sculpture' and 'midget squash.' but alas, all i did this weekend was fucking nothing. sat around and drank a bunch of beers.

Monday, August 13, 2007

Cultural Lesson

It's that time. Time for social studies!

i highlighted the most interesting parts in red. be not intimidated by anthropologists whose names contain the ultimate triple threat of being hyphenated, having an accent, and sharing a first name with other illustrious french intellectuals (monet, debussy).

-------------------------------------------------------------

Published: June 18, 2007













News of the death of the philosopher Richard Rorty on June 8 came as I was reading about a small Brazilian tribe that the French anthropologist Claude Lévi-Strauss studied in the 1930s. A strange accident, a haphazard juxtaposition — but for a moment this pragmatist philosopher and a fading tribal culture glanced against each other, revealing something unusual about the contemporary scene.

University of Virginia

The philosopher Richard Rorty.

Micha Bar-Am, 1987

Claude Lévi-Strauss

Mr. Rorty was one of America’s foremost philosophers, who in midcareer, after devoting himself to the rigors of analytic philosophy, decided that “it is impossible to step outside our skins — the traditions, linguistic and other, within which we do our thinking and self-criticism.” He argued that we are always dealing with multiple and conflicting claims of truth, none of which can be conclusively established. We choose what to believe based on what is useful for us to believe. For Mr. Rorty, the importance of democracy is that it creates a liberal society in which rival truth claims can compete and accommodate each other. His pragmatism was postmodern, tolerant to a fault, its moral and progressive conclusions never appealing to a higher authority.

But the Caduveo of Brazil would not have welcomed that kind of all-inclusive embrace, and probably that embrace would not have been so readily offered to them. When Mr. Lévi-Strauss wrote about this dwindling tribe in “Tristes Tropiques,” his fascinating 1955 memoir, he compared these “knightly Indians” with their “aristocratic arrogance” to a deck of European playing cards; they even looked the parts of jacks, kings and queens, he wrote, with their cloaks and tunics decorated in red and black with recurrent motifs resembling hearts, diamonds, spades and clubs. The tribal queens, Mr. Lévi-Strauss noted, even seemed to trump Lewis Carroll’s imagined Queen of Hearts with their taste for playing with severed heads brought back by warriors.

The Caduveo, in Mr. Lévi-Strauss’s description, would never have considered for a moment that their beliefs and their society were arbitrarily constructed. The Caduveo had all the presumption and self-importance of royalty. They tattooed their bodies with elaborate “asymmetric arabesques” that served as coats of arms and signs of status. Their leaders removed every bit of facial hair, including eyelashes, and sneered at hairy Europeans. They even intimidated their Spanish and Portuguese conquerors.

They were, then, preliberal, premodern. In their midst every principle Mr. Rorty valued was violated. They provided their own transcendent authority and demanded its universal recognition. A neighboring, related tribe essentially became their serfs, cultivating land and turning over produce.

The Caduveo founding myth recounts that, lacking other gifts at the moment of creation, the tribe was given the divine right to exploit and dominate others. Mr. Lévi-Strauss once suggested that the Indian tribes of the Americas were like peoples of the Middle Ages, lacking the example of Rome; but the Caduveo, in his descriptions, are more like nobility from the 17th to mid-18th century, lacking the example of either the American or French revolutions.

But there was also something else about this tribe that drew Mr. Lévi-Strauss’s attention: “It was a society remarkably adverse to feelings that we consider as being natural.” Its members disliked having children. Abortion and infanticide were so common that the only way the tribe itself could continue was by adoption, and adoption — more properly called abduction — was traditionally implemented through warfare. The tribal disdain for nature extended into its active denigration of hair, agriculture, childbirth and even, perhaps, representational art.

In all of this the tribe was proclaiming that while its dominance derived from nature and was beyond question, its superiority meant that nature had no further claim on it. Everything else was created by the tribe itself, particularly the ornate and elaborate tattoos and paintings on members’ bodies. In this respect the tribe was not countercultural but counternatural. It refused to defer to external forces or commands.

In Mr. Lévi-Strauss’s telling the Caduveo actually take on a strangely postmodern flavor, shedding the very idea of natural law or constraints. Even Mr. Rorty might have found his sympathies touched. He once suggested that science had been established by modern man “to fill the place once held by God” but that it didn’t merit that position; it should be seen, Mr. Rorty said, as having the “same footing” as literature or art, and he suggested that physics and ethics were just differing methods of “trying to cope.” The Caduveo might have agreed, as long as they were permitted to determine which methods of coping were used.

But what place would such a society have in a Rortian democratic landscape? How would they be answered if their claims to divine right and arbitrary power came in direct conflict with the more embracing arbitrariness of Mr. Rorty’s vision?

In reasoning one’s way into pragmatism, in minimizing the importance of natural constraints and in dismissing the notion of some larger truth, the tendency is to assume that as different as we all are, we are at least prepared to accommodate ourselves to one another. But this is not something the Caduveo would necessarily have gone along with. Mr. Rorty’s outline of what he called “the utopian possibilities of the future” doesn’t leave much room for the kind of threat the Caduveo might pose, let alone other threats, still active in the world.

One tendency of pragmatism might be to so focus on the ways in which one’s own worldview is flawed that trauma is more readily attributed to internal failure than to external challenges. In one of his last interviews Mr. Rorty recalled the events of 9/11: “When I heard the news about the twin towers, my first thought was: ‘Oh, God. Bush will use this the way Hitler used the Reichstag fire.’ ”

If that really was his first thought, it reflects a certain amount of reluctance to comprehend forces lying beyond the boundaries of his familiar world, an inability fully to imagine what confrontations over truth might look like, possibly even a resistance to stepping outside of one’s skin or mental habits.

But in this too the Caduveo example may be suggestive. As Mr. Lévi-Strauss points out, neighboring Brazilian tribes were as hierarchical as the Caduveo but lacked the tribe’s sweeping “fanaticism” in rejecting the natural world. They reached differing forms of accommodation with their surroundings. The Caduveo, refusing even to procreate, didn’t have a chance. They survive now as sedentary farmers. Such a fate of denatured inconsequence may eventually be shared by absolutist postmodernism. The Caduveo’s ideas weren’t useful, perhaps. Some weren’t even true.

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ok, ok. i will be the first to admit that i have actually read this article more than 5 times, and i still don't understand the author's foundation of juxtaposing claude ls and rorty, but that's not the point. the point is that these people were so anti-natural that they didn't procreate, so they died out.

tell me that isn't hilarious.

i used to be very interested in anthropology, and i guess i still am to a certain extent. the problem is, i got so good at seeing controlling paradigms that i gave up trying to do a double major. i was like - what's the point? american society has constructed an academic system that rewards only specific types of aptitude that funnel into institutions that are driven by the white wealthy and are more about business than pursuit of knowledge.

another thing i will say about anthropology is that gives you a severely inflated feeling of righteousness and an insatiable need to write obnoxious and ultra-pretentious sentences that are really long and poorly punctuated.

i secretly wish i were a hardcore anthropologist sometimes, in the same way i wish i was a ballerina or an economist. i am trying to figure out how to do all three, but so far no luck.

Wednesday, August 08, 2007

Annie vs. Books!

i don't understand why i have so many books, because i hate reading. i used to like reading when i was really little, and always wanted to read past my bedtime, which basically meant that i read under the bedsheets with a flashlight. this is why i had glasses before i got to kindergarten. they were huge pink and plastic ones, but i digress. what i was reading at that age i have no idea. probably tolstoy.

my next memory of reading was in second grade. we had this children's encyclopedia set in our living room, and it was like a regular encyclopedia in that it many volumes, each volume covering topics A-C, D-F, etc., except that it also had all of these great illustrations. my dad dared me to read the entire set in one month, and every third volume, i would get pizza. so i read the entire set, and it was delicious.

in the fourth grade i saw jurassic park, and decided that i would be really ambitious and read the book. it was a pretty bad idea - there were so many words i didn't know and i was reading it primarily to prove that i could. in general, in life, i tend to do this a lot - doing things just to prove that i can. i do it with self-improvement projects, with people, and with work. turns out that this is a really stupid thing to do and a colossal waste of time. i am also marking this as digression #2.

in middle school, i got really into christopher pike books. they're 300-pageish books of concentrated high school murder and thriller excitement! plot lines include but are not limited to hot football players who are actually dead zombies, hot cheerleaders who discover that they are reincarnated greek goddesses, and hot people who later realize that they are versions of the same person (one was a high school girl, the other was her 40-year-old self). best books ever.

in high school, i decided to read the fountainhead because it was really long and had a cool name. interestingly enough, i actually liked it, so then i read atlas shrugged, which took a lot longer. both books took me so long that they were the only two books i read in high school that weren't required reading. two books in four years. i guess that reading those books was enriching to some extent. they enriched me with this aggressively idealistic perspective of the world, and the expectation that i may someday be whisked away to a secret valley, accessible only by secret airplane, where a secret group of people would sit around and things like discover new sciences, write symphonies, and solve large-scale economic problems every day. so far i haven't been invited, so i've been spending most of my time with my computer, domokun, and ipod.




















































we are a stellar combo, so things are going pretty well.

fast forward to now. i have a beautiful bookshelf from dwr filled with books i mostly haven't read. here is a sampling from my bookshelf:

books i have never even started
---------------------------------

Charles Schwab's New! Guide to Financial Independence
The Hidden Persuaders - Vance Packard
Sophie's World - Jostein Gaarder
The Pro-Growth Progressive - Gene Sperling
PR! - Stuart Ewen

books i tried to read and never finished
----------------------------------------

The Moral Animal - Robert Wright
Life of Pi - Yann Martel
The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay - Michael Chabon
Blink - Malcolm Gladwell
Smilla's Sense of Snow - Peter Hoeg
Bobos in Paradise - David Brooks
Why we Buy - Paco Underhill
The Call of the Mall - Paco Underhill
From Here to Economy - Todd Buchholz
The Language Instinct - Steven Pinker
Autobiography of a Face - Lucy Grealy
The World is Flat - Thomas Freidman
The Decameron - Bocaccio
The Idiot's Guide to World Conflicts

books i've actually read
------------------------

Bel Canto - Ann Pachett
The Namesake - Jhumpa Lahiri
Interpreter of Maladies - Jhumpa Lahiri

books i've read multiple times
-------------------------------

See You Later - Christopher Pike
The Immortal - Christopher Pike
All-of-a-Kind-Family - Sydney Taylor
The Fountainhead - Ayn Rand
The Aspern Papers/Turn of the Screw - Henry James
Atlas Shrugged - Ayn Rand
Matilda - Roald Dahl

i would to point out that the books that are in my bookshelf that i've actually read multiple times are bad middle-school level murder mysteries and children's books, apart from Ayn Rand and Henry James.

this is embarrassing, but i can't help it. i am, however, still trying. i just bought a book called the origin of wealth, and it cost a lot of money, so i'm hoping that will motivate me to read it. that, and a sudden interest in economics that appeared out of nowhere several months ago and that has persisted, even in the face of veritable opposition from a few well-known heavyweights, including shopping and beer.

i am hoping this new endeavor is successful. if so, i think i will eat some pizza.

Tuesday, August 07, 2007

return of the mac

i am back after a long summer hiatus, to bring you fabulous tales of excitement, passion, lust, and drama!

how enthralling!

excitement
------------

i am planning a party. i take piano lessons, and most of my obnoxious friends are tired of hearing about all the practicing, and don't understand why there's no performance. thus, i have decided to finally perform for friends, under the condition that they are also required to perform.

i'm essentially having a talent party. if you're going to come, you have to perform something. it doesn't have to be a typical performance - i am requiring my friend aj, a chemistry professor, to teach a chemistry lesson. my friend ashley is serving gourmet cheese poofies and handing out the recipe. you know, that kind of shit.

i am requiring all others who come unprepared to read from a scene of king lear that i will xerox earlier that day.

this is EXCITING.

passion
--------

i learned how to shoot a gun this summer. i went with a few friends from work, lots and lots of nice handguns, and one shotgun. we were all wearing dresses and heels, and were greeted by a kid working the cashier desk with a huge snake around his neck. worst accessory ever.

shooting a gun is scary at first, primarily because you think you're going to be such an idiot that you would accidentally shoot yourself. the thing to realize is that while operating a gun does make you nervous, it doesn't make you a fucking retard.

we had a 9mm, a 40, two 45s (one with laser!), a shotgun, and all of these large sheets of paper with drawings of this guy with a beanie kidnapping a girl. trust me. there was passion.















lust
----

i have a crush on someone new. i think his name is ox. he is on the left; the green one.















drama
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we tried to go camping a few weeks ago, and the entire experience sucked. first and foremost, the lake was ugly. so ugly.















second of all, we hated the campsite, and tried desperately to escape the dire conditions.















observe as we shamelessly claw at each other in hopes of escape.















all in all, i could not have imagined a worse hell.















i have learned my lesson and will never come back here with all of these attractive people, casual reading, franzia, and two bathing suits. never. worst idea of the summer.